It's been quite a full few months. We, as a group, seem to be going through some pretty big changes. It's exciting, though difficult at times, but a wonderful chance to trust in God and see His plan unfold.
We recently finished recording our newest CD and are eagerly awaiting it to be mixed, mastered, and duplicated. It was a strenuous preparation time leading up to the recording, because God is asking us to rise to a new level in our ministry. And the process had an added element of challenge due to my fathers passing the week we were in studio.
He had been very ill for years with pulmonary fibrosis. It was a struggle for him to breathe while doing the simplest of daily tasks. And this disease, unfortunately, had no sure treatment or cure.
I watched as my father deteriorated slowly, just as Id seen my grandfather do before him, and I became more and more aware of the similarities between us. Like my father, I have always been hot-tempered and fairly shy. I struggled with anxiety and worry, just as he had, and always felt more comfortable when I could be in control. But, in stark contrast to the many commonalities we shared, stood the one life-changing difference; I have a relationship with the living Lord Jesus Christ, and my father didn't appear to. I have a constant companion, always loving, there to show me how to handle anger and what to do with worries and fears. My father was facing these mountains on his own.
Toward the end, he traveled for the second time to the Mayo Clinic where he awaited test results that would tell the doctors if he could be eligible for a lung transplant. He did pass the tests, and was placed on the list, however he was only on the list for five days before he died. In his last few days, he had panic attacks brought on by not being able to breathe. He sat in his bed, not being able to speak through the tube in his throat, and he wrote his half of every conversation down on paper, wishing so badly to be able to get up, move, and do things for himself once again.
My brothers were taking turns keeping him company. I tried to make arrangements for our two young children so that I could go down and be with him. We were set to go down the week after we finished recording the CD. And I was confident that I would get to see him again, to share more about the Lord, to be there interceding for him and praying with him. But that was not in Gods plans, though I don't know why.
The morning he died, I was indeed praying for him, though many more miles away than I wanted to be. I still don't know where he is now; if his pain has ended, if he is at home with the Father. Near the end, we began to see faint hints of spiritual progress, but none of us was privy to a confession of faith. Thankfully God knows, and indeed has known from the foundations of the earth, where my father is spending his eternity. And though I do not know, I trust in Him. And in His plans.
And I would like to encourage all of you who are reading this; pray for those you know who do not know the Lord! Cry out to Him, asking Him to show you if He would have you speak to them about Him. Ask Him to give you the words. Only the Lord can save a soul, but we can be the tools in His mighty hand if we are ready when He calls us.
Just like the passengers of the ship Paul sailed on as he traveled to Rome (Acts 28), there could be men here that will be saved because we are saved. Let his grace fill you and overflow onto all those around you!